None of us like to think of ourselves as victims. The term “victim” brings to mind a pathetic image of a person who is powerless. Therefore, It comes as a shock to most of us to realize how often we allow ourselves to be emotional victims. Having counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for 35 years, I know that many of us are victims much of the time without realizing it.

We are being victims anytime we give another person the power to define our worth. We are being victims anytime we make approval, sex, things, a substance, or an activity responsible for our feelings of happiness and lovability. We are being victims anytime we blame another for our feelings of fear, anger, hurt, aloneness, jealousy, disappointment, and so on. Whenever we choose to define ourselves externally, we are handing away power to others and we then feel controlled by their choices.

When we choose to define ourselves internally through our connection with our spiritual Guidance, we move into personal power and personal responsibility. The moment we sincerely want to learn about our own intrinsic worth and what behavior is in our highest good, and we ask Spirit, we will receive answers. Most people do not realize how easy it is to receive answers from a spiritual Source. The answers will pop into your mind in words or pictures, or you will experience the answers through your feelings, when your sincere desire is to learn.

We always have two choices: we can try to find our happiness, peace, safety, security, lovability and worth through people, things, activities, and substances; or we can feel joyful, peaceful, safe, secure, lovable and worthy through connection with a spiritual Source of love and compassion – taking loving care of ourselves and loving others.

Whenever we choose to find our happiness and safety through others, then we have to try to control them to give us what we want. Then, when they don’t come through for us in the way we hoped they would, we feel victimized by their choices.

Here is an example: Don and Joyce are in a continual power struggle over how to handle their children. Joyce tends to be authoritarian while Don is fairly permissive. When Joyce gets frustrated with Don’s parenting, she generally yells at him about his permissiveness. Don often listens to Joyce rant and rave at him. Sometimes she goes on for over an hour and he just listens. Then, when he tries to talk with her, she refuses to listen. Don then feels victimized, complaining about how Joyce yells at him and refuses to listen to him.

When I asked Don in a counseling session with him why he sits and listens to Joyce, he stated that he hoped if he listened to her she would listen to him. I asked if she ever does listen during these conflicts, and he answered “No.”

“Why do you need her to listen to you?”

“I want to explain to her why I did what I did with the children.”

“Why do you need to explain it to her?”

“So she won’t be mad at me.”

Don allows himself to be yelled at by Joyce as his way of trying to control Joyce, hoping to get her to approve of him. Then he tried to explain to further control how she feels about him. When she won’t listen, he feels victimized by her yelling, blaming her for being such an angry, controlling person.

If Don were willing to take responsibility for approving of himself through his connection with his Higher Power, he would not listen to Joyce when she was yelling at him. Instead, he would set a limit against being yelled at, stating that he would listen to her only when she spoke to him with respect and only when she was open to learning with him. But as long as she has to approve of him for him to feel secure or worthy, he will not set this limit. Until Don opens to his spiritual Guidance for his security and worth, instead of handing this job to Joyce, he will be a victim of her unloving behavior.

Taking responsibility for our own feelings of worth and lovability through developing our spiritual connection, instead of giving that job to others, moves us out of being victims and into personal power.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

Not to worry. There’s lots of ways to skin a cat.
Sometimes I long for The Equalizer, or those “dirty deeds done dirt quick” guys. What am I talking about? Keeping lists, keeping records – two things I really hate to do . I’m a conceptual person, and little “detail” things drive me nuts.

Of course I can DO them. I was an event planner – it’s nothing BUT details – but, I prefer to be creative and find other ways.

How about you?

I’m sure you have things on your “to-do” list you don’t like to do. If they’re big, we need to look at a different career or job, but if they’re small, here are some ways to manage around a weakness.

1. Get a little better at it. Some things you’ve just got to be able to do-simple math to balance your checkbook. Just gotta hunker do wn and do it. Read, watch others, get a coach/tutor and don’t agonize over your performance in these areas you know will never be that great. Get them up enough to allow you to play the game, and then don’t worry about it – like Tiger Woods and his bunker shot. 2. Find the support system you need. When I was a fund-raiser, which didn’t pull on my greatest strengths to begin with, I found it hard to start working donors (cold calls) first thing in the morning, so I used my secretary to “warm up” with–warm up my voice and ramp up my personality.

3. Make yourself promises. Make yourself report cards, or use your coach for accountability. If your filing is really out of control and causing you problems set aside one day a month to do the filing and stick to it. Choose an accountability system that works for you, The Gooding Accountability System – is a good one, or schedule a “Clean Sweep Day” with your coach. I did this four Mondays in a row with a client who was closing out his 25-year business and needed to go through files.

4. Memorize self-talk. Mary’s job description is so vast and vague, she could get lost in it, and also hide away in the parts she likes best. Every hour or so at work when she feels overwhelmed by the choice of things she could be doing, she self-talks: “Q: What was I hired to do? A: I was hired to raise $1,000,000 this year. Q: What will best further that goal? A: This task.” This helps her set her priorities, and keeps her focused.

5. Find a crutch that works. Free up worrying time and start applying it to honing your strengths. Buy a palm pilot; hire a temp one day a week; barter with your suite-mate; return phone calls with your cell phone while standing in line in the grocery – just do it. Got a home office with no extra room or computer? No excuses – there are virtual assistants now.

6. Use one of your strengths to overwhelm a weakness. Sam isn’t naturally good with people; he’s too introverted. His top theme is Intellection, so he studied how others do it, and makes a very good approximation for someone who’d rather be dealing with ideas than people.

7. Find a partner. Oliver was the rainmaker in the law firm. Holding the tax collection contracts for various cities, his day was filled with schmoozing. He partnered with a brilliant intellectual who was detail-oriented, had no need to be in the spotlight, was 100% reli able, and who churned out the paperwork and ran the calendar, presenting a perfect trial notebook to Oliver when it was time to go to court.

8. Delegate your weakness. A property management owner didn’t like to deal with employees and their “problems.” She hired a vice-president to do the training, HR and employee relations which freed her to go out and get new clients which was what she was good at.

9. Work with a complementry colleague. If you give ad presentations in pairs, make sure you’re buddy is strong in numbers and facts if that’s your weak suit.

10. Just stop doing it. The first thing I ask a client who’s agonizing over being “organized,” is “Who cares?” I mean that literally. Often when they start to answer this question, they discover they’re the only one who cares. This comes up often with “filing” and “messy desks.” When you’re self-confident and UNAPOLOGETIC, you’ll find most people will adopt your response. Which brings up the next topic —

11. Stop comparing yourself. If you’re doing your job well, the means to the end don’t matter that much. I paid a call once on a partner at Fulbright & Jaworski-no place for “disorganized” amateurs. His office looked like a bomb had gone off in it. There were piles of paper 5′ high all around his office. He got a phone call, got up, walked over to the 3rd pile on the left, reached into the middle of it and pulled out a piece of paper. If you have a system that works for you, let it be.

11.And – keep your sense of humor about it all. Keep it in perspective.

“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he doesn’t become a monster.” — Nietzsche

About the Author

Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, GLOBAL EQ. Emotional intelligence coaching to enhance all areas of your life – career, relationships, midlife transition, resilience, self-esteem, parenting. EQ Alive! – excellent, accelerated, affordable EQ coach certification. Susan is the author of numerous ebooks, is widely published on the Internet, and a regular speaker for cruise lines. For marketing services go here.

The human self is a temple of the Divine.

Life goes on. You can choose to let life flow or get stuck and just keep spinning your wheels. Each day offers a chance to look at the brighterside of life and enjoy it. Each day is a chance to be connected with your divinity. Each day heralds a new beginning. You have to be part of it.

The world never stands still. Time comes when battles that were once critical no longer top the list of priorities. That is if you learn to reconcile yourself with the past, sort out the precious lessons and move on.

Take control of your life, validate yourself, honor and respect your being and most of all, love yourself. This is not about being aggressive, domineering and always in control and confrontational. It is not about becoming self-absorbed.

Far from it. It is about offering a more compatible YOU in a relationship. There are inevitable bumps in any relationship, unavoidable falls and pitfalls.No problem lasts forever. There has to be a way to adjust your sails and enjoy the breeze, not get lost in the storm.

Take stock of your life. What are your illusions?What is your reality? How do you deal with failure, with disappointments and the other elements thatfuel stress? Are you just coping, mostly in a crisis management mode? What can you do?

Sometimes, one’s world, one’s hopes and dreams come crashing with a big bang, a major shaking up of life. This is a chance to take a great leap of faith, to grow and strengthen your self-trust that is eroding. Move on without fear. Fear can be paralyzing. Move on instead with self-confidence. Have faith in yourself. Faith is enduring.

Grab the chance to harness the power from the river of knowledge already flowing through your being, to take that first step to get up and move on to the next phase. Time to let go and really let go. Hanging on to personal loss builds up powerful negative blocks; these fuel anger, grief, bitterness, vindictiveness, distrust, confrontation, erodes self-confidence- all negative but very powerful energies. Over time, accumulation of these take its toll on your health.

Why allow a negative influence to knock on the door? Hurtful issues tend to get remote and forgotten.over time.Why dwell on these, the negative energy gets very powerful and takes on a life of its own. What purpose does it serve? NOTHING.

Take peace over misery any day, any time. In a world of turmoil, deception, hypocrisy and insensitivity, not to mention fighting with inner demons, peace can be elusive. Believe in the power of love and peace. Loving yourself
first enhances your capability to share that love with others.

Strengthen your personal power. Nurture your spirit,let it bring forth deep insight, thus, perspective. Search deep within, bring out the glitter from within your soul, let it radiate joy and peace. Help make this a better world.

END

About the writer:

Bonnie Moss writes about spirituality and other inspirational topics. Visit her website , a metaphysical site that offers information on tarot, crystals, aura, angels, charms and spells and related topics.

goldencupcafe.tripod.com

The oven is an indispensable electrical appliance to each and every kitchen today. There are many diverse brands and styles of ovens currently available. Though, having load of options can easily make your time hunting for a replacement oven an enormously complex and mystifying assignment. One of the key factors of your choice is that you ought to acquire a new oven that will both meet your demands in addition to your chosen funds. Cost of ovens range from two-hundred pounds all the way up to several thousands of pounds. Here are a handful of useful tips you are advised to chew over when splashing your cash on an oven.

The initial thing you should think about is if you would like to cook with a gas oven, an electricity oven, or then again a duel fuel oven. In general, gas ovens heat up much more rapidly than electricity operated ovens. They also help keep food fresh whilst cooking because of the damp heat that is released. Electric ovens as a rule cook a lot more evenly and much quicker when compared to gas ovens, yet they do take considerably longer to heat up. You will be able to cook a lot of different kinds of food all together in an electricity powered oven since they are much more likely to be hotter at the top and cooler near the bottom. A duel fuel oven is an electric oven that has a gas hob. This variety of oven will give you a faster cooking period than that of an electricity operated oven.

One more thing to dwell on when buying is the type of oven you will want for your own apartment. One type is a conventional oven. The temperature will vary all the way through with a conventional oven given that they are either heated up from the top or heated up from the bottom. The bottom will be cooler than the top and the middle will be at a reasonable temperature. These specific sorts of ovens are brilliant for making roasts; whereas a fan oven will cook meals more evenly. Multi-function ovens are a combination of fan ovens and conventional ovens and are therefore just the thing for cooking an array of dishes. Last but not least, steam ovens are wonderful for healthy cooking because you do not have to use any oil or fat. Moreover, you also can’t burn food in a steam oven. Find a diverse selection of electrical products such as; ovens, gas fires and surrounds and electric fireplaces from leading brands online.

The actual size is yet another factor that needs to be looked at when trying to buy the most suitable oven. Solitary ovens are by far the most purchased type and come in countless appearances and colours together with various cooking pre-sets. Double ovens are double the size of a single oven. If you entertain once a week or have a big family then this oven is right for you, in contrast small ovens are best for people who have limited available room.

Qualities that you are recommended to look for in an oven consist of; self-cleaning and electronic controls. An oven that features electrical controls is best for cooking foods that require a specific cooking temperature.

Mainstream media has become a single-minded authority on how we should perceive life. Theirs is a negative perspective. Could there be a new way of hearing the stories we feel are relevant in our lives?

If you’re anything like me you are really getting tired of the mainstream media’s one-voice-to-many analysis of life on Earth. First of all, it’s just too negative! I read a survey recently that stated that fourteen out of fifteen newspaper and TV News stories had negative fear-based stories. I don’t know about you, but if I look at my everyday life, the amount of good and bad I experience seems to be much more balanced. Why does the ‘big’ media think we all love hearing the dark side of things so much?

If you look at what news stories truly are in historical terms, it is a person sitting around the tribal campfire at night telling a tale to inform the people both in wisdom and knowledge. In any tribe there were many storytellers, so different perspectives were always available to the masses. Well, if you think today’s media sources are too monopolized in their power of authority over the stories we are told, there’s a new option for humanity. The answers and views we are seeking in our daily lives could lie in the Internet. This Internet thing really could be the key for humanity to evolving into a species that thinks independently, leaving this age of fear behind.

It’s time to bypass the main media sources. On the Web we can access non-profit news organizations, we can hear personal views of individuals in news forums and blogs, we can even express our own views on world issues as well as sharing our own personal experiences! With this newly accepted technology called RSS Readers we can start to get the type of information that we feel is most relevant to ourselves as individuals. It comes straight to us and then we can sort through it and decide which people and sources we want to hear from on a regular basis. This is awesome as it means we don’t have to search through a bunch of stories that have little interest to us. It also means if we want to hear more positivism, we can push the negative views out of our perceptions.

Although this idea is in its infancy, the repercussions once realized could have a mammoth impact on how individual humans see and live their lives on Earth. Imagine a society that stretches across the globe where a collective consciousness speaks to itself in an informative many-to-many communicative process. There are a lot of happy, positive, intelligent people in this world who are interested in similar things to you. Wouldn’t you like to hear their stories and share their knowledge as a way of constructing your view of reality?

Let’s leave behind this era of negative perspectives and singular authorities telling us how life on Earth should be viewed. It is interesting that some of the most over-wealthy, greedy individuals media moguls who tell us what is important. Don’t you want to have a say in how you look at your life while you are here? Positivism and wisdom surrounds us at all times. Would the Universe exist otherwise? Lets reconnect with that source of energy that makes us smile so many times each day. If life were meant to have so bleak an outlook, would there even be stars in the sky?

About The Author

Jesse S. Somer is a writer thinking about how all this new technology could one day be utilized by the masses of technologically challenged people like him. If it could be incorporated into everyday life in a positive way, life itself could evolve to a higher plane. http://www.m6.net

British Army mascot Sandbag was only recently returned to the UK to withdraw from his principal functions within Iraq. After developing into a great source of support for the troops the adopted stray dog is nowadays having a ball in a well warranted relax – and so what is time like for a conscientious canine, and what waits for our canine companions in their time off?

It might well repeatedly be particularly complex to come across pet insurance for the doggy who stays classified as ‘working’ whether she is a sheep dog, a racing dog or possibly a dog put to good use exclusively for breeding purposes. Consequently one can only visualise when it comes an army a military or police force doggy that it can often be even more knotty to acquire pet cover. Also it’s terrific to consider that so many expert mutts are rather nurtured once their stretch of highly valuable employment are closed.

When he was born within the forward operating base at North Point within Umm Qasr, Iraq, Sandbag a sandy-coloured mutt, quickly became an admired part and mascot of the British troops there. The soldiers made sure Sandbag was correctly inoculated, gave him a dog collar, allowed him into the base whenever he howled outside & nourished the hungry guy within the early morning before he went and stood sharp sentinel along with the sentry guard force. Delivering affection, much needed friendship, constant accompaniment, & also some enjoyment while the occasional walkabout, Sandbag was a very precious treasure whenever it came to keeping assurance strong

Despite this when the armed forces extracted from the southern port earlier this year, they had to leave Sandbag within the Middle East & there were great concerns among the guys who’d taken him into their hearts. The guys feared that if Sandbag was left to uphold himself their four-legged friend would be murdered by the locals, who hold little interest for vagrant dogs. But thanks to fund-raising activity, on Facebook amongst other places, the Blue Cross raised more than £13,500 within just two months, letting them to return Sandbag home.

Deputy dog Sandbag isn’t the only doggy to be given the great appreciation he earned for his invaluable contributions. Dogs can often of course prove of substantial value within constabulary practices. The guys save important time hunting for lost individuals, drugs and contraband. vigilant training means that constabulary mutts could not expose any potentially precarious things but instead indicate wherein it is likely to be to his human companion.

As repayment for all their efforts constabulary canines within Cambridgeshire only recently were the first in Country to redeem the proper pension merited after retirement. Previously mutts working for the Cambridgeshire constabulary retired as they aged, at that time the dog’s specialised trainer would sign a document meaning he would have to accept liability for the doggy for the rest of her life. This new programme means that retired pups will now have their food, veterinary bills & housing paid for by the police force.

So there we have it, the valuable work that these energetic pooches do brings a fully new level of meaning to the phrase ‘man’s best friend’. So thank goodness that there are humane individuals out there willing to provide hard-earned comfort and love for our best friends once they are put out to pasture. More information on dog and pet insurance is available here.

With the British recession really upon the area of London, may the city’s beloved musical shows keep the show revenue coming in? Over in the theatre district Broadway, the theatre productions are being hit with reduced show revenue as even more theatre goers are deciding to stay at home rather than go out. Numerous people, especially couples and families are staying in watching the very latest blockbuster movies than going out to watch a musical. The Broadway theatre productions have responded eagerly by reducing show prices to encourage musical lovers back, so far with amazing results. Infact, Shrek the Musical is selling a family musical ticket bundle of 2 grown ups paying complete price with up to two children under 16 attending the musical for free. With the status of the Shrek films, the popularity has furthermore forwarded to the theatre adaptation.

Over in London’s Theatre Land, the show sales have also found a fall. This economic crisis has caused countless theatre shows to monitor their profit line even more than usual. And with a multitude of shows starring costly stars, like Kathleen Turner and Sienna Miller, the theatre firms need to regain this expense. Thankfully for London and of course the musicals and plays there are cheap ticket booths that allow musical lovers to acquire tickets for top west end shows at a fraction of the show face value. These well known show ticket booths have registered a rise in revenue since the economic crisis and this permits the theatre goers of London and its brilliant tourists to be able to afford to purchase their preferred shows without spending too much money.

As the recession continues, we might well find that a multitude of theatre productions could start to offer similar show promotions to that of New York with family show ticket bundles. Nevertheless, there are a group theatre shows that will stand the test of gloom and doom – musicals and plays like Woman in Black and Priscilla Queen of the Desert have been around for many years and show no signs of poor tickets sales. If you enjoy London’s musicals and shows, then browse London Theatre Tickets online.

One may well be excused for nurturing the belief that cosmetic odontology was all about treatments dealing with the picture perfect smile as well as about appearing your most beautiful. Such a view, however, couldn’t be more mistaken. Because beyond that good oral hygiene has even more extensive consequences than laymen think. For one, it may dramatically influence your entire well-being and can vitally determine how routinely you will tend to turn ill. Current medical studies have reported several exceedingly alarming findings in regards to periodontic infection. Research has indicated a significant correlation between inflammatory gum disease and heart conditions. People afflicted by gingivitis run a 25 percentage greater chance of developing heart disease, and it is held that the spread of pre-inflammatory chemicals into the bloodstream comes from an inflammation of the gums. The good news is that a cosmetic dental surgeon cannot only brighten up your smile, level out uneven teeth, and fix caries, he is likewise practiced in spotting the inception of gingivitis and can be trusted to treat it before it becomes a widespread affliction. However, the thought of that celebrity smile is always irresistible and employing contemporary advances in orthodontic modification processes the practice is now considerably easier and not even remotely as stressful as it was in past days; for today every esthetic orthodontist has a great many of the appropriate techniques up her sleeves. Here are a few methods by which that ideal smile has really advanced to become an attainable realistic option for everyone. Teeth whitening, for example, via on-location tooth whitening can make everyone seem a good deal younger. Laser whitening is done in conjunction with the application of a special of gel and will usually be accomplished in about an hour in the dentist’s surgery the exact timeline obviously being subject to the specific shape of the teeth.

Molded out of materials such as silicon dioxide or quartz that have been mixed with a resin, tooth bonding can similarly performed in the office and is laid on the tooth. It is then hardened by a particular frequency of laser after which the bonding matter is molded to fix cavities, chips, discolorations and gaps. Admittedly, deterioration of this material may come about in as little as a couple of years; however, it can endure without a problem for up to 15 years and even longer, which will usually depend on how much ongoing care has been taken to maintain it.

Orthodontic veneers are normally made from porcelain and are applied to the teeth without the use of or with only a very small amount of anesthetic medication. porcelain veneers are the initial option for a great majority of dental practitioners and are certain to provide a flawless smile even in the most severe condition of tooth disfigurement. As a result of the incredible advances in corrective dentistry during the past years, in addition to having secured that movie star smile — now you may equally monitor bigger health issues in one go…

Perhaps the biggest change in how corporations operate today is in communications. Whereas in the past, a business organisation would rely on printed media like magazines, newspapers, and industry journals, now there is the internet. This has greatly impacted on how corporations perform PR. With the introduction of blogging, all of a sudden we’re reading friendly updates straight from the head chiefs instead of the usual finespun, conventional editorials ordinarily located in their corporate brochure. Also we’re hearing more from firms too, as websites are incessantly updated. With the recent advent of sites like Twitter, corporations are also microblogging too.

Also the net has made matters far less passive and much more proactive. Now those surfing the web effectively vote for your advert by clicking on it, or join your e-mailing list, or enquire immediately to you using your website forms. We also know far more regarding target demographics due to their “footprint” they make with their actions. Thus it’s vital that an organization can respond to the responses provided by their website visitors and form their messages accordingly.

With such dramatic changes, does that mean organizations have much more power to command how the public views them? Yes it does! Corporations are now setting aside evermore time on PR, as so many new “public meeting places” have become available with new technologies. With that increased opportunity however, there is the increased opportunity to make mistakes too, and so our advice is to hire a public relations firm first. Learn from them. For example, how do they utilise all the new media that is now available? They have acquired experience in understanding what is successful, and what doesn’t work. They can speedily highlight your weaknesses and enhance your strengths in terms of your relationship with the public. A good location to start in regards to locating a PR company is Google. Just type a key phrase like public relations uk and you will quickly get a list of public relations organizations ready and willing to serve your requirements.

Morbid is hitting frightening proportions and often ends up in an early demise or a life threatening disease like mature onset diabetes. Even though it may be in your greatest interest to achieve your target weight, it is never easy. The first step is looking into how to achieve your ideal Body Mass Index. No-one enjoys watching their food intake for long periods of time, although it has taken time to put the weight on to begin with. Dieting for a long time and not seeing the results is bad for motivation levels. You need to discover a program to assist you to reach your recommended weight fast, but sometimes, this often ends up in further medical problems. So it’s important to study every selection open to you and then make your selection.

Visit and go to this splendid site for how to lose weight fast advice

Gastric bypass surgery offers drastic body fat reduction, but individuals who go for this type of surgical procedure run an elevated risk of stones in the kidneys or gall-bladder, and B12 deficiency. Binging following surgery can frequently end up in you feeling sick or vomiting. Numerous patients who choose surgery also get food allergies, irregularity in bowel movements and the cold intolerance. And So, it’s obvious why this risky procedure isn’t right for everyone. For anyone wishing to achieve their ideal weight quickly, fat-burners are a better option. These mimic the effect of working out on body through making heat, supercharging fat burning. Assorted active ingredientse.g. asprin and sesamin are utilized by fat-burners. Liquid fat-burners are very similar to those which use bitter orange, only they will come in a liquid condition. The obvious benefit being that they work almost instantly owing to the fact that the compounds are digested almost instantaneously. Your body’s nutritional needs are all important irrespective of how you decide to shed body fat. When you decrease your food consumption in turn means restricting your the quantity of nutrients available. So, ensure you stay well hydrated and get the right multi-vitamin when you’re dieting. If you would like to further promote the process, you must exercise 3 or more times a week.

Everyone would like an easy way to get rid of at once. It is important to look after your body when trying to lose weight. Getting the nutrition exactly right, exercising on a regular basis, and taking the right supplements if you have to, is probably everything you need to understand with regard to how to achieve your ideal Body Mass Index safely.